Friday, June 17, 2011

Self-Confidence: A Commitment to Feeling Good

Self-confidence is the key to all success. So what is it exactly?

We have already said that self-confidence is "the bond that connects being with doing," and "the strength to do that which arises from one's being, come what may." See "Use Daily Affirmations to Strengthen Self-Confidence"). But one might also say that self-confidence is a commitment to feeling good.

"How does that work?" you ask. It works like this.

Connection with being is that which gives rise to good feelings inside you. To get the sense of what I mean, go to "An Exercise for Experiencing the Joy of Being," and then come back and finish this article. Go ahead, we'll wait . . . 

Did you do it? Did it work for you? The further you can manage to descend into being, the more pleasure (or joy) you will feel in your physical body. This is because you are experiencing reality--your body is your own personal slice of reality--and reality, as it turns out, has a positive charge to it. That's what you're feeling in every atom that makes up your body. The universe (and therefore your body) is not a neutral place, as some would have you believe. It's filled with this incredibly positive charge, and that's why you feel joy whenever you take the time to put yourself into direct contact with it.

Connectedness with being, as just described, feels good. So infusing all that you do with joy--feeling good--is another way to explain what self-confidence is--it's a commitment to feeling joy all the time. And to the extent you do this, you will have self-confidence, which is absolutely critical for success.

By contrast, you are not feeling good when you are worrying. You are not feeling good when you are angry. You are not feeling good when you are hating. You are not feeling good when you are fearful. These things and all other negativity feel bad, and because they feel bad, because they disrupt the joy that is your natural state, they diminish your self-confidence, and reduce your level of success.

I've already given you two Self-Confidence Formulae to chew on. Might I suggest a third? Her it is: "I here and now commit myself to feeling good 100% of the time."

Think about that affirmation. Are you ready to make that kind of promise to yourself? If not, you might have an addiction to negativity.

Commit yourself to feeling good until feeling good becomes a habit (It is a habit for all successful people, though they may not even realize it themselves, having nothing to compare it to. Most successful people learn how to do this by osmosis from their parents, who learned it from their parents by osmosis.) As you go along, I think you will find that doing that which arises from your being will give you joy too, promoting even more self-confidence and even greater success. The more you do it, the more it builds.

Or as Jesus put it, "To him who has, even more shall be given."

4 Considerations of your new approach

This approach has three very important considerations. First, if you give it a try and find that you simply can't feel good all the time (which will very likely be the case at first; see "The Pain-Body: What is it?"), then it's up to you to figure out why, and then to remove that obstacle.

Second, you may very well find that there are some things you can no longer do and feel good, so you will have to stop doing them. But this will allow that which comes from your being to arise (see "Put Being Before Doing in Job Search").

Third, this approach even has implications for your physical well being (see "Inner Body Awareness Slows the Aging Process," Joy in My Ear and "BE Your Body to Ward Off Disease?")

The fourth consideration of this approach is an understanding of exactly what it is you're actually having confidence in. 

"Self, right?" you say. "Self-confidence is confidence in self."

Self in this context (and perhaps all contexts) is your being, and being is more than just yourself. Being is consciousness. There is a oneness about consciousness, a oneness with all that is. You are part of a whole that is the Unmanifested with a capital U--God, if you prefer to use this word for what really can't be reduced to words.

Once you fully grasp that this is what self-confidence is (and I understand that it isn't necessarily an easy realization), it's hard not to have it.

Photo credit: Words for Mind

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