Tuesday, May 31, 2022

Elon Musk Laments Low Birthrate: Letterman-style list to Solve the Problem

Elon Musk recently lamented the low birthrate in the industrialized world. Musk took Italy as an example, where the birthrate fell last year to its lowest level ever. There will be no Italians on the Italiian pennensula, Musk says, if things don't change. He also cited Japan declining population to make his point.

According to Musk, “Most people believe that we have too many people on the planet. This is an outdated view.” Convincing people otherwise seems to be his only solution to the perceived problem.

I would like to offer a few more. Regardless of their views on how more people might adversely affect the environment and other possible negative ramifications of population growth, people can't keep from having sex, and sex will lead to higher birthrates if left to its own devices. The problem is, it is not.

I'm tempted to arrange these items from last to first in the manner of David Letterman's old Top Ten List, but there are only four so it's not all that dramatic (or funny, except maybe the last one). Aw, heck, I'll do it that way anyway. Here goes. Top 4 ways to increase the birthrate:

 4. Outlaw homosexuality - If heterosexuality is the only game in town, more people will practice it, even if it wouldn't be their first choice.

3. Outlaw abortion - No explanation needed.

2. Outlaw birth control - Again, no explanation required.

1. Outlaw pornography - Men (and some women) have found a way to achieve orgasm that does not entail having to deal with women (and vice versa to a tiny extent). It's called masturbation. Take away pornography and eventually masturbation becomes nearly impossible. Thus, men (and to a tiny extent women) would have to work harder to fulfill their life force/sex drive. And with all of the aforementioned behaviors no longer legal...more babies.

Problem solved. You're welcome, Elon! (I'm sure Letterman and his team could have come up with a much, much funnier list. Almost anyone could have.)

This list looks like a very traditional, morality-based approached to sexuality. But it's important to note that things have been deemed over the centuries as immoral because they are bad ideas, not because they have magically shown up on a golden list from a magic book that God uses to determine who makes the grade and who doesn't.

On the other hand, many people these days worship in the houses of Eros and Dionysus, as it were (the LGBTQ+ religion) and divorce sexuality from its roots in reproduction, an approach which seems perhaps to be bearing poisonous fruit. 

Dung beetles feel strongly about their own propagation. So do mosquitoes. So do bunnies. It seems like people are the only ones who don't feel the need to keep going. Are the bunnies the ones that have gone mad, or is it the people?


Photo courtesy of Wikipedia.

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