Showing posts with label Non-reaction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Non-reaction. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Avoid Dramatic People

What a liberating feeling! I've learned to avoid dramatic people! I used to fall pray to their painful whimsy because I used to be dramatic myself. And this is really the key to getting past these people: recognizing and acknowledging your own drama.

Without a nice soft spot to sink their drama hook into, dramatic people have no hope of reeling you into their made-for-TV movies. Don't judge them and don't judge yourself, just recognize and acknowledge on both counts. And don't try to help them. The more you engage, the more you get sucked in.

The only way to help them is to avoid them altogether, leaving them to occupy a world of their own making, full of drama and other dramatic people. If this is not a formula for sufficient suffering that stands a chance of breaking them free of the self-inflicted burden they carry, I don't know what is. Perhaps by being forced to go ever deeper into their drama in this way they will emerge free on the other side of it.

One thing I've learned: Life plays chicken with you until you learn not to flinch. Drama is the bad habit of flinching at everything that life brings your way. And Life won't stop bringing these "opportunities" your way until you learn not to react to them, that is to say dramatize them.

And this is one of the many ways that we can understand that the Universe is truly a beneficent place. It will never give up on all of us drama queens.

You might also like: Dramaholic

Monday, July 4, 2011

In Relationships It Only Takes One to Tango

In a relationship, the job is non-reaction. Another word for non-reaction, according to spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle, is forgiveness. Forgiveness works wonders. As the Good Book says, "Love covers a multitude of sins." Forgiveness doesn't require participation from your significant other. It only requires your participation.

Tolle's first book, The Power of Now is in question-and-answer format. The question (in this case, actually, a comment): 
I suppose that it takes two to make a relationship into a spiritual practice, as you suggest. For example, my partner is still acting out his old patterns of jealousy and control. I have pointed this out many times but he is unable to see it. [Italics original]
Tolle's answer: "How many people does it take to make your life into a spiritual practice? Never mind if your partner will not cooperate. Sanity--consciousness--can only come into this world through you." If you wait for your partner to come around, Tolle says, you may be waiting forever.

Sunday, April 10, 2011


I found a thought provoking blog post called Are You a Dramaholic? by Carolyn Shannon. In the article, Carolyn draws a distinction between negative and positive drama. She writes: "For years my life was filled with negative drama thriving on the attention it brought me." After many years, says Carolyn, she became wise to her own patterns. "As I stepped onto the path of self awareness I began to realize I was a Dramaholic! I was as addicted to drama as anyone hooked on cigarettes, alcohol, sex or food."

Carolyn gives hope to all the drama addicted people out there, telling them that they don't have to give it up. They simply have to shift focus from negative drama to positive drama, "the WOW moments," as she calls them. "How often a parking spot is right there when needed; how many kind or friendly people we come into contact with each day; unexpected gifts of time, love, money or compliments; all the beautiful pictures Mother Nature keeps creating to awe us" are all excellent examples.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Learning About Non-reaction from Coach Cal

I'm learning a lot from this guy.

I've watched just about every minute of of NCAA Men's Division I Basketball coverage this year, as I often do when I'm in Lexington. Apart from the excitement of the games, I'm extremely impressed with the character of the coaches at this level of play.

Particularly Coach John Calipari of our Kentucky Wildcats. We get to see a bit more of him in local news coverage here in Lexington, and we're the better for it.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Non-Reaction and Non-Violent Are Not the Same Thing

Jesus famously said that if someone slaps you on one check, you should offer him the other cheek as well. "Turn the other cheek" has long since become a catch phrase for what Eckhart Tolle and others (like the Buddha even before the Christ) call non-reaction. It's really the only sane response to violence. Anything else will only perpetuate a cycle of violence that will never end until one of the parties is either annihilated or until one of them decides, finally, to employ non-reaction.

The first key to non-reaction is internal. It means that your response isn't a knee-jerk, unconscious response to what's happened or what's about to come your way. It means that your ego doesn't take you over, causing you to act without really realizing what you're doing.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Tao Urges Non-reaction to North Korean Provocation

This article was originally published by Technorati on 25 May 2010 as a Simply Spirited feature. To see all my Technorati articles, click Lifestyle in the Contents listing on the sidebar.

Tensions are mounting along the DMZ between North and South Korea now that the latter has determined that a North Korean submarine took out one of its warships with a torpedo.

This is an act of war, without question. But no act could be more ripe for non-reaction than this one.

Monday, May 10, 2010

No More Scientology Ads, Please

I'm sorry, I really don't wish to be negative, but I'm just not comfortable with Scientology advertising on my blog. This is an effort to keep them from doing that. See the link to an interesting video below.

I don't know what you see, but on my computer, keeps advertising on my blog. I don't have much control over the ads Google puts up, so I thought I'd write a blog entry that might keep Scientologists from advertising here.

For a good source of information about Scientology, check out good old Wikipedia. Follow the links. It's truly fascinating.

From one the of these Wikipedia links:
The Bridge to Total Freedom, or simply The Bridge for short, is the Church of Scientology's guide to members of how to advance expensively in the church through auditing and other services. The Bridge is explained by a chart that shows the levels one must pass through to reach Clear and ultimately, Operating Thetan. . . . The Bridge costs roughly $300,000 US.
Any religion can't be all bad if it motivates its practitioners to generate $300,000 in discretionary spending, can it?

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Father of Slain Marine a Modern-Day Job

This article was first published by Technorati on 15 April 2010. To see all my Technorati articles, click Lifestyle in the Contents listing on the sidebar.

Albert Snyder, father of Lance Cpl. Matthew A. Snyder (pictured), a slain Marine whose 2006 funeral was picketed by members of the infamous Westboro Baptist Church, is a modern-day Job.

Like Snyder, the sons and daughters of the biblical Job were killed by a mighty wind. Like the biblical Job, Snyder has enjoyed the company of a set of "friends" who give him unwise counsel as to why travesty has befallen him.

In Snyder's case, these "friends" are a slightly deranged, thoroughly unconscious group of people who wish to advise him that his son's death came as the result of national tolerance of homosexuality. This message is not so much offensive as a shock to the collective faculty of logic, since the two are so utterly disconnected, especially while "Don't ask, don't tell" still holds sway.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Mindy McCready Sex Tape and the PR Stunt

This article was first published by Technorati on 11 April 2010. To see all my Technorati articles, click Lifestyle in the Contents listing on the sidebar.

Here we go again. Another CD release, another sex tape faux-scandal publicity campaign. And Fox News has taken the bait with an exclusive story.

Troubled country starlet Mindy McCready is attempting to mount a comeback in conjunction with the release of her first CD in 8 years. The comeback comes on the heels of a well-timed sex tape that happens to have fallen into the hands of a porn production company.

McCready is the former mistress of retired pitcher Roger Clemens. So her sex tape is aptly titled Baseball Mistress--the porn industry has never been subtle with its titles, but this one lacks the humor value of most.

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